Bally's Gym.CN

3.25.2009

I'm sure most of you are familiar with the Bally's chain of gyms in the States. What you might not know is that Bally's is an international chain, including locations in China. In fact, there's a branch in the big office building where I do my editing and one of the benefits my company offers is a joint account for the employees. I've been trying to go 2-3 times a week over the last few weeks, as my "China 15" [yes, similar to the "Freshman 15"] has been sneaking back up on me. [Damn you $3 large, delicious meals.] I went a few times last year and the gym (which is huge) is always nearly empty. Most of time I'm the only lao wai, but I will see another expat every now and then. It is both comforting and awkward when you are the only two non-Chinese people in the gym-- or anywhere for that matter. While you feel better about not being the ONLY one, there is also this pressure to acknowledge each other's presence. Most often, you try to avoid eye contact or pretend to be oblivious to the fact that you are the only two expats around. But you can't continue this forever, so you eventually give in and do the polite "you're-a-stranger-but-I'm-obligated-to-give-you-a-head-nod-because-we-are-both-foreign" head nod and clear the (white) elephant out of the room.

There is the occasional male expat gym patron, but never another female. I am always the only white girl in the two story gym. Again, the place is nearly always empty, so I don't really feel that out of place. I've been the only white girl around many, many more people before.

I went to the gym last Wednesday night-- the first time ever going during the week. The place was PACKED. Like "waiting-your-turn-for-a-treadmill" packed. China packed. And I was still the only white girl. Now I was feeling a bit self conscious. I don't know if everyone does the "imaginary audience" thing to some degree at the gym, but I'll admit that sometimes I feel as though people are watching me work out. Whether it be because I'm doing something really wrong or doing it really right, I can't help but have a small paranoia that someone, somewhere in the gym is counting my reps with me. [Silly, I know.]

Now take this small, silly paranoia and add a little "only white girl in the entire gym FULL of people" to the equation: I was sweating before my first curl. I turned my MP3 player up extra loud, tried to ignore it, and set to work.

As I did some weight lifting in the free weight area, I noticed a full-on Chinese rou tou (the term I coined for "Meat Head" in Chinese-- pronounced 'row tow'). He was a Bally's personal trainer and--in true Chinese fashion--was training about 5 people at the same time. He was running around like a mad man with his popped collar & popping veins. I thought I saw him looking over at me. Ahh! He's probably thinking that I am doing everything all wrong, I assumed. I tried to disregard him.

I guess I wasn't completely imagining my audience because a few minutes later he came up to me. I saw his mouth moving, but couldn't make out the words because of my blaring tunes. I took my earphones out. I saw his mouth moving again but still couldn't make out the words-- because he was speaking Chinese. [Weird]. Finally he said slower: "Ni shi na guo ren?" ("What country are you from?")

"Ah," I said, forcing back laughter, "Wo shi Mei Guo ren." ("I'm American.")

"Ahhh. Mei Guo ren!" He kept talking but the only thing I caught was "hen hao" ("very good") and the motions he was making-- imitating my lifting. I smiled and gave him a xiexie and he went on his frantic way.

The reason I forced back laughter when I realized what he was asking me was because I couldn't help picturing the same scene in an American Bally's: you're in the middle of a work out and a trainer comes over to you and says [and I picture this in a "Joey" from Friends voice], "What country are youuuu from?" That would be the weirdest and worst line ever. But in China, being the only nu lao wai in the place, this somehow made sense.

After weights I always end with cardio. The gym is set up so the 30 or so treadmills are all lining and facing huge windows overlooking the busy street below. This 30 minutes is not just cardio time, but also my "revenge time". That's right. All of you Beijing ren that constantly stare at me inside and outside the gym? Yup. I people-watch the shit out of you while I run. I watch you walk/bike/run/scurry by. And I stare. I stare hard. I dissect everything about you-- your hair, your clothes, your bike, your load, your car, your boyfriend/girlfriend, your child. And I relish every single second of it.

When I'm finished I take a quick trip to the locker room, not to shower [ew, who showers at the gym??], but to wash my hands and grab my things. I'm clearly kidding about the shower thing, though, because apparently I am the only one who doesn't shower at the gym. I try really hard to just look straight ahead, get in and get out, because there are naked Chinese women everywhere. For a supposedly conservative country, these women are not shy about nudity. There is usually at least 5 women standing around chatting or blow drying their hair-- completely naked. Who blow dries their hair naked? In public? For the love of FSM put some undies and a bra on! And how come none of these women have nice bodies? I know that's mean and all, but you would think that Chinese women that actually work out [very, very rare] would have smokin' bodies. Nope. Gross. My people watching doesn't extend to the locker room, and I get the hell outta there.

On my walk home, things go back to how they were before: the staring commences. If you ever want to feel like a microbe under a microscope, just walk on a Chinese street wearing only your gym clothes when it is a few degrees above freezing out. I might as well be the Loch Ness Monster eating a bag full of baby Chupacabras while riding on a unicorn that is farting rainbows. Eh, I'm used to it by now.

-T