Oceans Apart

4.20.2008

We've been in China for just over two months now. Each day flies by, yet these last two months is an eternity. I'm starting to feel the impact of being 6, 000 miles away from California, the only home I have ever known.

I explain the term "homesick" to my students. I encourage them to talk about it. None of them have ever left home, excepting short vacations.

"What would you miss if you moved abroad?" I probe.

"Family."

"Friends."

"Chinese food."

"Family."

"My cat."

"Friends."

"Classmates."

I start to tear a bit as I listen to their lists. They're listing my list. Well, save for Chinese food. And cats. I quickly change the subject to my disdain of cats, avoiding my own tears by inducing their laughter.

I'm feeling the sting of being disconnected from American culture. Once upon a time I followed American and world news daily. Politics, sports, good news, bad news. Now I don't even know the weather forecast. I woke up, surprised, to rain falling on my window today. Will it rain tomorrow? I don't even know.

A coworker hums a song to herself, "Man, I have 'Bunny Hop' stuck in my head!" I didn't fully hear "bunny" but I did hear "hop" and assumed it was some new American hip-hop or pop song I've yet again missed. I said, "I'm so out of mainstream America now that I've never even heard of that song. Is it new?"

"The bunny hop? It's like really, really old." She hums it again, louder: "Buh dun-uh-dun-uh-dun-uh. Buh dun dun dun. Buh dun-uh-dun-uh-dun-uh. DUN DUN DUN."

"Ohhhhh..... that song." I feel ignorant. I realize I am so out of the loop that I actually believed for a second that a song called "Bunny Hop" could be topping the charts back home. I scold myself for losing that much faith in my country. What's next, John McCain becoming president?

New movies, new songs, best sellers, top stories, my family and friends' daily events are all 6,000 miles away now. And I feel it.

I understand a lot of this is my fault. I have daily access to the internet-- my only portal to my past life. However, I don't have access to time. Chinese time goes faster than American time. It must. In San Diego I worked 40 hour weeks, played on 5 softball teams, went to school at night, went to the gym twice a week, went out with friends at least 2 times a week and still had time for TV watching, news reading, email sending, random phone chatting, MySpacing, blogging, and sleeping. In Beijing, I [technically] only work 25 hours a week. I have managed to make it to the gym 2 times... since I've been here. I don't play softball, I don't have class, I don't talk on the phone, I don't have a TV, I hardly have time for email or MySpace. Blogging and sleeping are indirectly proportional. As I type this, my laptop clock ticks to 2:28 AM.

The rain poured down today as I walked to work. I instinctively reached for my phone to call my sister to tell her how my street was a sludgy mess and my freshly ironed work pants were now drenched to my knees. Oh, yeah. 6,000 miles. How easily I often forget.

--
My last class this evening had "dating" themed vocabulary. I attempted to explain how you go on a date with someone you are dating, and this person is called your date. Date is a noun, a verb, and another noun. [Thanks American English for making my job more difficult!] Next came "stood me up." This was much easier to explain-- the bold rudeness of someone not showing for a date is definitely international. One of my darling students, a 20-something law student with very good English asks, "You could also say 'flashed,' right?"

"I'm sorry?"

"Flashed. One of our Chinese teachers said that if you get stood up, you can also say, 'she flashed me.' Is this right?"

I immediately doubled over in laughter. I had to contain myself enough to ensure her I was not laughing at her, as I did not want to discourage her from asking questions or seeking clarification. But she just said the sentence "she flashed me" and conjured images in my mind that would cause any nice girl to immediately blush. I looked around at my students-- women and men ranging from late 40s to early 20s. I would have loved to skip this particular explanation to this group but knew I had to clarify. For their sake.

"Ummm.. 'she flashed me' has a totally different meaning," I began. "If you were to say 'she flashed me' to someone, they would think that she took her shirt and went like this," I made a mocking motion of lifting my shirt to neck level.

Puzzlement. (Damn. I really don't want to keep talking about this). "You know, like she would show, um, her front side to you."

I see some comprehension cross their faces. I continue. I have to. "And if you were to say HE flashed you, that would mean he did this," I pretend to pull my pants down.

"Ohhhhhhhh...." they get it. They better get it-- I just made a fool of myself in front of them.

"So," I conclude, "if you were to say, 'I went on a date last night and he flashed me' that would NOT mean he didn't show up. That would mean he showed up and showed off."

We all laughed. I told my student I was very glad she asked that question. She assured me she was also very glad she asked and was very thankful for my clarification.

Moments like these-- precious, priceless, humorous moments-- throw the thought of those 6,000 miles to the back of my mind. Even if just for a moment, this, to me, is invaluable. These stories, these memories, these experiences will forever be mine. And when I do someday return home, I know there will be times where I feel "homesick" for China.

"Students."

"Friends."

"Chinese food."

"Coworkers."

"My street."

"JOE!"

"Beijing."

"China."

-T