Adventure No. 88

3.11.2008

It is Saturday night, 6:00pm, I've been working since 8am, I decide I really need to get out of the office and head home. Tracy has class until 7:30pm, I tell her to meet me at home and we'll go grab dinner. On the way home I stop by the market and pick up some staples: yogurt, bananas, chips, and water. Standing in line waiting for check-out, I notice the store has a good selection of tools for sale and I make a mental note: we need tools for the house. Check-out, walk home.. it's a few minutes after 7pm. Pulling out the set of duplicate keys that we just had made the day previous, I struggle to get the front gate open. With trial and error (just like everything else in China), it finally works. I approach the front door to find the same problem...jiggle giggle, turn upside down, right side up, sideways, jiggle jiggle. Not working. After many patient attempts, I'm frustrated beyond belief. Why doesn't anything work, ever? Come on! I have perishable products in my bag, I'm tired, thirsty, hungry, and I really really need to use the restroom. Coming home to my Western-style toilet is a luxury I look forward to every single night of my new life. Until you've lived in a world of "squatters," you really can't understand this luxury.

My frustration reaches new levels: I think I might be locked out because of a faulty key. Already picturing myself waiting for Tracy to come home, I try to force the key to work. What happens next??? Yup, you guessed it, the key breaks inside the door. With just a sliver sticking out, I try to pry it out with my finger nails. No luck. Ironically, I head back to the market to browse the tool section I just saw 20 minutes ago. Needle-nose pliers were not on my original list, but now they will be our first tool in the new apartment...that is if I can get in of course.

I'm back, it is 7:30, I've now been stuck outside for an hour and a half. I come close to snagging the key out of the lock a few times, but on my final attempt, I do more harm than good: I shove it so far inside that the needle-nose cannot even grab it. I'm screwed. A phrase I'm all too familiar with now. What makes matters worse is that I still don't have my own cell phone (I'm broke until pay-day). At this point the best thing for me to do is wait for Tracy, as I don't want to risk missing her if I attempt to walk back towards the school. She is almost off, she should be home in about 20-30 mins. Tracy, as my luck would have it, took her sweet, sweet time leaving work and walking home. She arrived at 8:45, putting my time outside at 2 hours and 45 mins. Tracy finally walks down the corridor towards our apartment. Even though I was extremely frustrated, I could not take it out on her, it wasn't her fault. I've never been so happy to see my sister before.

I greet Tracy with, "Hey sis, guess what? We're screwed." After explaining everything to her I say, "we need to call Sixiao so we can find out what our options are." Tracy pulls out her phone, which is beeping to inform us that it is about to die. One minute into her conversation with Sixiao the phone dies. Miraculously our neighbors arrive as this happens, we explain to them using hand gestures what our situation is, they let us use their phone. Sixiao says she is going to cab over, she'll be there in a half-hour.

Upon arrival, Sixiao, always our savior, had already arranged for a locksmith. We waited another 30 minutes for him to arrive. While he was banging the lock out of the door, our other neighbor (who is apparently friends with our landlord) got suspicious and nosy and called the police because she felt we didn't have the right to change the locks without permission. Before the locksmith could break into our apartment, the cops had arrived with flashlights in hand, shining them in our foreign faces. They demanded our passports at once, looking suspiciously at us the entire time. It is Chinese law that foreigners must registers with the police dept. as soon as they obtain a residence. Tracy and I had yet to do this, as we've barely moved into our place, and we are incapable of competing the task independently. This of course created more suspicion, and the environment became increasingly nerve-racking. Sixiao was apologetic for our irresponsibility with the law, and promised them that we would register first thing Monday morning.

As for the snoopy neighbor, her dog was barking like crazy at the police, which annoyed them greatly, so they asked for her pet registration papers. Because China is so overpopulated, a pet dog must be registered properly too. Her dog wasn't, which means she now has some legal hurdles to jump over. Moral of the story: mind your own business!

By the time we all sat down in the living room and debriefed it was 11pm. I left work around 6pm; you do the math and assess my mood. I had class at 8am the next morning, I was not a happy camper. All said and done, I was almost surprised how well I took the situation... this must be a sign that my resilience has reached optimal levels, an essential tool for successful China survival.