Tracy and I are fast approaching our two-week mark, and we are exhausted. The jet-lag is officially gone, but sometimes I think we are too tired to notice the difference anyways. Between work, lesson planning, commuting, apartment hunting online and on foot, there is little downtime, and even less sleep. I literally haven't had time to sit down and write an email. That being said, I apologize in advance for the long-winded nature of this update. Things are looking up, though, as we finally scored our own apartment last night! Much more on that later....
Beijing is not a place to come if you a looking to 'get away from it all.' This is escapism, but not in a relaxing kind of way, more of a 'have your mind blown' kind of way. I would suggest that everyone comes to an Asian country to visit, just to see it with your own eyes. But this is not the kind of country you would want to live in permanently (in my opinion). After visiting Paris, for example, I left thinking, "I would raise my family in this wonderful place." Away from the safe little 'expat haven,' that is our work, you step outside on the streets that are littered with human beings as far as the eye can see, bicyclists as far as a pair of binoculars can see, and a rush hour that easily makes NYC's look like child's play. This society encompasses the very notion of 'dog eat dog.' It is vitally important, though, to realize that this 'every person for themselves' mentality is just the nature of the beast, not the individual. In a city of 17 million, and a country of 2.2 billion, if you take one second to look over your shoulder, you're finished. This is not the ideology of the individual, but the way of the world they live in... I would argue that it is the inevitable result of human overpopulation.
Another direct result of this mentality is negotiation. Yes, everything fathomable -- void maybe a cup of Starbucks -- is negotiable. In the States, companies compete for business, therefore they must acquire returning customers through exemplary customer service. To do something shady is to risk tainting your company's reputation. Here, in the main, this is not true. With so many people, if you lose one customer, by sheer default, someone is going to be knocking at your door three minutes later. There is little regulation of the sales industry (how can you regulate anything on a scale this size?), and foreigners get the short end of this stick. In a world of price negotiation, if you don't look like a native, and you don't speak the language: you're gonna get screwed. So what is the foreigners only saving grace? A Chinese friend; not just an acquaintance, but a friend.
I have been sharing stories with my students about my unsuccessful apartment hunting. They all have suggestions for me, they all want to help. Many have taken it a step further, and have text messaged me with leads, emailed me contacts, or called me with new information. The Chinese people, especially my students, work, go to college, and take English lessons to better their chances in this unfathomably large and competitive job market. Many of them tell me that they literally never do anything social, ever. Here at ABC, we are encouraged to have a lot of fun with them, play games, tell jokes, and teach them about culture. We want to create a relaxed atmosphere for them, where they can actually learn about culture as opposed to the vocabulary that they've been learning since grade school. We have a lot of fun in class, and I've gotten to know them on a more personal level, and I've learned of how incredibly hard they work. Despite everything going on in their lives, they have all reached out to me, taken time out of their lives to search Chinese websites, make phone calls, etc. Amazing. I even had one student who took me to meet an agent...we spent 2 hours seeing a few places. I offered her dinner afterward, to return the favor, but she refused. She said, "The pleasure was all mine, please don't worry." So sweet.
Last night, I met Sixiao after work, who had contacted another agent on our behalf earlier in the day. We cabbed over to see a few more apartments, but to my dismay, I wasn't too happy with the condition of either one. She asked me if I would be interested in meeting her Uncle, who's house was a short mile-walk away. I told her I would love to. She phoned ahead to inform them of our nearing arrival time, then explained to me that they were excited to meet me. I was like, "really?" She said she had called earlier that day, and said she might stop by with her American friend. Her niece, Meomeo, is 13 years old, has been studying English in school for a few years, and has only conversed with an American once before in her life. On the phone Sixiao had learned that Meomeo was in the bathroom, "getting ready to meet you, and that she was extremely nervous."
Upon arrival, we took off our shoes, slipped on house slippers, and I was greeted with a "he-rro, welcome, welcome, pleashe, plieess, pa-lease sit, sit...are you dirsty? would you like sshum tea?" The parents then had to yell and sream at Meomeo to come out, as she was too nervous to do so. She finally did, and I stuck my hand out for an introduction (traditionally, the Chinese only shake hands in a business setting). "Hello, my name is Collin, very nice to meet you..." "Herro, my, ahh, name ish Meomeo, ess nice to meet you too." Her short bout of confidence quickly diminished, her demeanor immediately resorted back to the most bashful girl I've ever seen. I couldn't believe it. I came to China with a self-perception of myself as that 'boring, white, American, monolingual dude,' how could anyone be so excited to be in my presence? It is as foreign of a feeling that I've ever experienced.
After hot tea, I learned that Sixiao's Uncle had contacted an agency on our behalf, and that he wanted to take us to see a couple of places tonight. What happened next blew my mind. The entire family dropped what they were doing, put on their coats, scarves, gloves, and shoes. We walked out to the main road, hailed two separate cabs, and headed over to the real estate agency. Upon arrival, we greeted the agent, and walked to the complex. After viewing two apartments, I had fallen in love with one, and expressed great verbal interest to Sixiao. After the translation was complete, the bargaining began. Now this isn't any kind of negotiation you could possibly imagine. This is not one agent contacting another, this is not an emailed offer, this is not a timely process in which you make an offer and hope to hear back on it soon......this happens here, and now, in a verbal shouting match. Uncle simply sits on the couch, crosses his legs, and just starts laying into the agent. The agent, a cute, hip, young, frail, petite Chinese woman, shows no sign of backing down. As you may know, the Chinese language is loud and choppy by nature, so to hear it in this context, was quite a treat. Neither party was backing down, Uncle, being the patriarch, stayed sitting, slapped his thigh a few times, the coffee table once, and demanded one thing after the other. Occasionally he would point to me. I just stood there and tried to keep my feelings of disbelief and culture shock harbored -- away from my face. This continued for 20 minutes minimum, all the while Sixiao and the Aunt piped in their two cents when the dialog allowed.
With another slap on his thigh, Uncle stands up, the negotiating is done, and a smile is on his face. The agent was reduced to some uncomfortable laughter, and out of context alone, I can tell she had reluctantly subsided. Uncle's demeanor suggested: No foreigner is going to get screwed this time, he is a friend of my family. And just like that we have an apartment: 2 bedrooms, spacious, clean, western bathroom, a 10 minute walk to work, all for 3,200 kuai/month. Mine and Tracy's combined monthly income is 13,000 + possible bonuses, so we'll be doing quite alright.
Afterwords we all went to a traditional Chinese restaurant and had some of the best food I've ever had in my life. Phenomenal. Tracy had gotten off of work and she came to meet us for dinner. As we sat down, Tracy and I told Sixiao's family that this was the nicest thing that anyone has ever done for us. We explained that their generosity was unparalleled, and we are forever in their debt. Uncle simply smiled and said, in broken English, "It was our pleasure, we just want for you to have a comfortable stay in our country." Tracy and I snuck out later and payed for the bill before they could, as we assumed they would probably try to do this as well. Sure enough, Uncle attempted to pay, then tried to explain to us that it is their duty, as host, to pay for the meal. We tried to explain that it was the least we can do, and it was almost as if they didn't understand how blown away we were by their generosity.
Needless to say, if I ever in my life hear anyone say anything negative about the people of this great country, I will be the first to have words with them.
So tomorrow is only 6 hours of sleep away, and after some shopping for general house supplies (it is fully furnished already), Tracy and I will actually be settled in. No more hour and a half commute, no more 3 subway transfers, no more 6am alarms going off for 9am classes.
We shed our skin, once more, packing our bags to venture over to a new side of town. The adventures are perpetual, and although it is tiring, I hope it stays this way. I came here to escape monotony, and I think I found the polar opposite.
-C
