Collin & Tracy's China Adventure

12.07.2008

Top 10 Things I DON'T Miss About China:

10. Having everyone stare at me everywhere I go and everything I do.

9. Random people shouting 'Hello!' at me constantly.

8. Riding my crappy bicycle around, escaping death at every turn.

7. Meeting crazy laowais.

6. Being the minority in a major way.

5. Not understanding what people around me are saying.

4. Insane taxi rides and angry cabbies.

3. Pollution.

2. The food.

1. Every single task being a complicated adventure.

Top 10 Things I DO Miss About China:

10. Having everyone stare at me everywhere I go and everything I do.

9. Random people shouting 'Hello!' at me constantly.

8. Riding my crappy bicycle around, escaping death at every turn.

7. Meeting crazy laowais.

6. Being the minority in a major way.

5. Not understanding what people are saying around me.

4. Insane taxi rides and funny, sweet cabbies.

3. Appreciating each day with beautiful, clear blue skies.

2. The food.

1. Every single task being a complicated adventure.

12.01.2008

I was inspired by Tracy's recent blog depicting some of the intricacies of daily life here in China. I'd actually been wanting to do something similar, as I felt I've really slacked on sharing my experiences here, which while not being so "crazy" any more, they're rife with wonderment, joy, humor, fulfillment, and WTF's?

So here's my attempt at giving you a peek into a day in the life of a Meiguoren Yingwen laoshi (American English teacher), 10 months later....

here is what our apartment corridor looks like, our apartment door is on down on the right...

this is the view from the corridor...the tall building in the distance is adjacent to the shopping mall I work in.

Here's a video of me riding from our apartment complex, down our street, and to the subway stop. I use this route when I need to take the subway, such as the mornings I have Mandarin lessons across town. I've been fighting a cold, so sorry about the coughing and throat-clearing in the video -- gross.

If I were to go straight instead of stopping at the subway, I would take Zhichun Lu (street) towards the West, then turn right onto Zhongguancun Street. Zhongguancun district is considered to be the Silicon Valley of China, as it is the IT, tech, electronics, and all things computers district.

Here is me headed down the Zhichun Lu towards Zhongguancun.

And as you might have noticed, I commute to work on the wrong side of the road, weaving through on-coming traffic, but if you've ever been to China before, you'd know that this is the norm. It is quite amazing at how desensitized I've became....riding my bike into oncoming traffic, holding a camera, and all the "close calls" (the "close call" phenomenon doesn't even exist here) through the hustle and bustle of Beijing doesn't even phase me anymore in the slightest. Keep in mind these videos are NOT shot during rush hour. The streets are quite tame here.

Lastly, my ride up Zhongguancun toward the shopping mall in which my center is located, ends with me at one of many bike-valet that surrond the area (and Beijing). This one is especially impressive with it's double-decker rack. I pay .50 yuan per day to park it here. There are approximately 9 million bicycles in Beijing!

here is my bike valet....

and here's my beast. it's completely natural to feel envious...

here is the area that I work in full of shopping malls and electronics stores....

And here's the mall that I work in...(yes, working inside a mall is awful and I don't want to talk about it)...

entering the shopping mall one finds a recreation of the Zhongguancun area...
a bird's eye view...
and after an escalator or two, you arrive at my center

and at the end of the day, this is what makes it all worth it, my wonderful students:
I hope to make more blogs such as this, as I feel it is the small things in my China-life that are the most profound part of this experience.

Chinese Training

11.24.2008

I am now officially trained in the methodologies, procedures, and the culture of Chinese trains.

Before this last weekend, I had ridden on a train in China once-- a high speed bullet train to Tianjin, which is only 30 minutes each way. The train ride was smoother, easier, and cheaper than the cab ride from my house to the train station. This last week, however, I spent 3 of 4 nights on 11-12 hour overnight train rides. Slightly different experience.

I wanted to see some new cities and provinces before going home in December, so I conned Sixiao into taking a last minute trip with me. [Being unemployed and being my best friend, she really had no choice in the matter]. We decided upon going to Xi'an to see the Terracotta Warriors, but my wise hao pengyou (best friend) felt that a trip to Xi'an only would be a bit of a waste-- we should try to see more on our way back. After consulting maps, the internet, and friends who have traveled these places before, we added a city called Pingyao to our itinerary. Pingyao is an ancient city, better preserved than most of its kind. Its city wall is still fully in tact and the houses and buildings and streets have, for the most part, been left unchanged for years. [I just sounded like a travel brochure. Sorry].

Anyway, to get to Xi'an from Beijing, we would take an 11 hour overnight train. The choices for tickets are "standing tickets" (yes, people stand for 11+ hours on trains), "hard seats," "hard sleepers," and "soft sleepers." Sleeper tickets are beds that you can lie down in, the difference between "hard" and "soft" being minimal-- or so we thought.

The hard sleeper trains are made up of many chambers, each housing 6 beds each-- one bottom, middle and top bunk on two opposing walls. The beds are smaller and bit more uncomfortable than a soft sleeper. Soft sleepers only have 4 bunks per chamber and they are private-- you have a door that locks and closes, you can control your own lighting (hard sleepers are "lights out" at 10 pm), and you have more room to lay down, more room for your belongings and less strangers to share your space with.

Sho and I boarded our train at 9:30 pm, with the estimated arrival in Xi'an being 8:30 am. We figured we'd get settled, shoot the breeze for an hour or so, get a full night's rest, wake up fresh and ready in Xi'an.

We poked our head into our chamber. Two men were already lying on the bottom bunks. Sho had booked us the middle bunks. We kept our fingers crossed that the tops would stay open. It is slightly awkward in the middle bunk before you are ready to lay down because there isn't enough room to sit up. After arranging our belongings (place them above your head, away from the door and potential thieves) we half-lay, half-arched awkwardly as we talked and waited for lights out. The ticket collector came by and one of the men on the bottom bunks asked if he could upgrade to a soft sleeper. Sweet! Only one random man in our sleeping quarters!

Lights went out, we laid down. A few minutes later, we see shadows in our doorway. One man climbed into the remaining bottom bunk, another climbed his way to an empty top bunk. Damn! Now we had three lao tous (old men) to deal with. Sho's voice pipes up from the dark, "Dude. I bet they're gonna snore."

"Nooo! I really hope they don't."

"They will."

Within ten minutes, the snoring had begun.

It began with the man above Sho. Not so bad at first, but growing louder and louder as the man fell deeper and deeper asleep. Then he stopped. Yes! I sighed with relief at the thought of getting a possible 8 hours of sleep still.

The relief was short lived-- the snoring began again. This time, however, it came from the man in the bunk below Sho. Different kind of snoring, not as loud, but just as annoying.

"Are you awake?" Sho asked.

"Yes. How could I not be?"

"This sucks!"

"I know."

Soon, the man above Sho started to snore again. They sawed away like lumberjacks, cutting through the dark room with their awful sounds.

Just when I didn't think things could get any worse, the man below me joined as well. We lay, wide awake, listening to a snoring chorus (or what I like to call a "snorus") of three Chinese lao tous.

A few hours later, as I tossed and turned, I swore I heard a 4th person snoring. Traitor! I thought to myself. Sho passed out on me and joined them! I couldn't believe it.

However, Sho's voice spoke up again, "UGH! Shut up!"

"You're awake?" I asked rhetorically.

"Yeah! I thought you were asleep though-- I coulda sworn I heard a fourth person snoring!" she laughed.

"I thought that was YOU!" We both laughed despite our misery. We decided to put in our MP3 players and come to terms with the fact that the next day was going to be a looonnnggg day.

After getting about 3 hours of sleep, we waited in line for the train "bathrooms" to freshen up. Imagine squatting to pee in a hole on a moving train. Imagine doing this over a hole that a whole lot of people have also used on this moving train. Yeah. Bu hao.

Splashing a bit of cold water on our faces & brushing our teeth in the small metal sinks was about all we could do to wake up. Before setting out on out Xi'an tour, we made sure we booked our ticket to Pingyao for later that night-- SOFT sleepers this time.

----

Train ride number two--bound to Pingyao--was bound to be better. We had soft sleepers with top bunks and high hopes that the remaining two passengers would not be snoring lao tous. On top of that, we were absolutely exhausted from our lack of sleep and long day. We thought we could sleep through anything.

One chamber mate was already there when we arrived-- an interesting older Chinese woman who was very interested in us. Not to be stereotypical, but she was a typical nosey lao tai tai (old lady) who wanted to know all about me and all about Sho... from everything from family details to our salaries. Sho kindly answered as many questions as she felt comfortable answering. As we got ready for bed, we again kept our fingers crossed that no one else would join our chamber. This time, our finger crossing worked. As we pulled out of the station with just the three of us in the room, Sho explained to the woman how glad we were to not be sharing with any lao tous, due to the night before. The woman laughed and said, "Oh I snore, too!" Of course she did.

And, of course, at the next major stop, a lao tou joined our chamber. However, the gods smiled upon us and neither of our chamber mates snored... too loudly. We managed a good 6 hours of sleep.

----

After two relaxing days in the quaint town of Pingyao (I think Sho calculated that we slept for about 20 hours of our time there) we were ready for the last train ride of the trip. We were lucky enough to score two limited tickets direct from Pingyao to Beijing. Unluckily, they were hard sleeper tickets.

The train was smaller and older than the last two. It was crowded and hot. We located our beds. We realized that although we were in row 8 and row 9, our bunks weren't actually facing each other, but were in neighboring chambers. We didn't want to be in a situation where we couldn't see each other or talk, so Sho decided to ask someone if they were willing to switch. As I watched her ask a young Chinese guy, I could tell he was hesitant. The bed Sho was assigned to had 3 people sitting on it at the moment-- they apparently didn't care it didn't belong to them. Two beds above, a young girl was chain smoking, despite the complete lack of ventilation. In short: this chamber was not desirable. However, Sho was able to work her magic and I watched the guy change tickets with her. I gave him a big smile and said xiexie ni, and he returned with a gracious mei wenti.

After we got settled in our beds, I asked her what she had said to get him to switch. "I told him that this was your first train ride and you are in a strange country and you are afraid to sleep alone," she smiled.

"Thanks! Did you also tell him I wet the bed??" No wonder his "mei wenti" sounded so heartfelt. [Oh well. I knew I'd never see these people again and it's true that I would have rather not slept "alone."]

The poor soul who traded to beds for the scaredy laowai had to sit in the aisle, his eyes nearly shutting with exhaustion, as an obnoxious couple continued to chill and chat away on his bed. The rude randoms finally got up... and came to our room. Even after lights out they continued to talk away. They finally passed out and we were able to get some sleep.

Around 5 am, the couple woke up and started to talk again.

"Shh!" Sho hissed at them.

They were undeterred.

"SHHH!" She hissed louder. I giggled at the ferocity of her hushing.

Still, they talked.

Pissed, Sho spouted off something in Chinese. I was hoping she was telling them to shut the hell up. Whatever it was, they got quiet.

About 30 seconds later, the silence was broken: bvwwwrrrppp!

I guess the man decided if he couldn't make noise with his mouth, he'd make noise with his bowels. He kindly repeated this action at set intervals until we arrived in Beijing. I would have rather listened to his mouth.

----

For those of you who haven't been trained in Chinese trains, I hope my experiences don't deter you. I don't by any means recommend NOT taking the train, but I do recommend paying extra for soft sleepers, whenever possible. I will also recommend that you don't do back to back nights on trains-- it is always good to shower, rest, and refresh in a hotel before getting back on a sleeper train.

I must say, if nothing else, taking the train adds adventure to Chinese travel. And adventure, like pizza, is always good... even when it is bad.

My Chinese Life

11.16.2008

A little glimpse of the day-to-day Chinese life I have now grown quite accustomed to...

This is where I live:

The building wasn't always pink and white. But one day it just was. So pink. And so white. So, so pink.

This is where I work:

I work on the 11th floor. The elevators in my building are never available and when they are they are always crammed with a million people. I usually take the stairs. My co-workers think I'm crazy.

Speaking of the elevator, there is a small room in front of the elevator.
For some reason, someone decided that this room in front of the elevator
needed a sign to indicate to people that this was, indeed, the room in front of the elevator:

This is how I get to work every day:

Yup, that's her. The sweet blue one on the end. I paid 150 kuai ($21) for that baby. It's only about 5 months old... and it's about at the end of its sweet little bike life.

This is what I eat on the days I work, which is a company provided lunch:

On this day I had a little fruit, some spicy noodles, some eggplant, some rice, some green beans, some mystery veggies, some tofu with a mystery sauce...

[This lunch was one of the better days. I usually have no idea what I'm eating.]

This is where I go to grab something to eat if I am tired of the company lunch:

7-11! It is on the other side of my work building and it is more or less like one you'd find in America, but they have a lot more 'fresh' food choices. But don't worry, they also have 5 day old hot dogs complete with random hairs and used band-aids, just like in the States.

This is my coffee cup that I drink out of:

The cup was taken from my last employer, ABC school. [I added a bit to the design myself ;o) ]

Most days in China I learn a valuable lesson from the Chinese people:

The lesson of this day was, "If a light switch isn't working right, the WRONG solution is to stick a piece of paper in it."

The locals here tend to always try for the cheapest, quickest fix the first time. Luckily they always learn from their mistakes and opt for the correct solution in the end:

Much better.

At the end of the day, it is always nice to have a nice warm cup of tea:

This is a very special tea. [Get it? Special-tea?]

Only special people like me drink
this very special Chinese tea:

And, just like my mother, I love to have a little bit of chocolate every day. While I drink my special tea, I like to munch on a few of these:

Mmmm...nothing like a small, brown, cylindrical, crispy chocolate Collon to snack on before bed.

Hao chi! (Delicious!)

And finally, at the end of my long Chinese day, I snuggle into bed next to this guy:

Wan an! (Goodnight!)

-T

Voting-- It's everywhere you want to be

11.03.2008

Cab ride to Democrats Abroad meeting to request an absentee ballot:

30 RMB ($4)

Postage to mail absentee request:

10 RMB ($1.50)

Printing out emergency ballot when absentee ballot doesn't show:

2 RMB ($0.30)

Faxing emergency ballot to an overseas number:

52 RMB ($7.50)

Being able to vote in historical federal and state elections from China: PRICELESS

For the Record

10.09.2008

Being one of China's most treasured resources (a native English speaker) Collin and I are often overused and abused by people. Being well-humored, we are able to joke about it. We joke about it a little too much, maybe. I believe the amount of humor we find in our abuses has now reached masochistic levels.

You see, last Monday we did some "voice recording" work. It was, to say the least, an interesting experience. Put it this way: Collin and I can now call it even.

Last Saturday Collin casually asked me if I wanted to make some extra cash by doing some voice recording. It sounded harmless enough-- which is generally a huge red flag.

"Are we going to actively take part in our own abuse?"

"Oh, yeah."

"Alright, I'm in."

He calls me late on Saturday night to inform me that the abuse, I mean work, will take place at 9 am on Monday morning. [I love being abused before noon on my days off.]

We get a call late Sunday night saying we need to meet at 8 am instead. The beatings had begun.

Monday morning, we meet up with a Chinese woman who speaks very good British English. (Unfortunately she speaks it a little too often, especially for 8 in the morning). Together the three of us take a cab to an apartment complex not too far from our neighborhood. We go inside an apartment that has been converted into an office & recording studio, where we are greeted by no less than 8 people. Collin turns to me, "Two people actually needed to get the work done and six others to stand around and watch?"

"Yup." [I love China.]

We're handed our voice recording scripts, which turns out to be English teaching material[surprise] for primary school children. We scan through the pages --about 10 in all-- and it looks simple enough. Let's get 'er done!

We are led into a recording room with fancy mics and soundproof material on the walls. The door shuts behind us, and we're told (via speaker from those in the neighboring room) we can begin when ready.

We start reading.

We're stopped.

"Um, could you maybe use a little emotion? You sound very boring. Like maybe you are sleeping." [Maybe?].

I dig deep down and pull out my "Oral Language Voice" that hasn't been used since '95 and begin again. Things are rolling along quite smoothly, until a word pops up that triggers my giggle reflex. The word was "nude." [I understand that I am nearly 25 years old, but seriously, why are they teaching 6 year olds the word nude?]. Collin rolls his eyes at me and tells me to get it together. We continue on.

The next page has the word: "delicious." This isn't a funny word, to MOST people. However, this is a highly loaded word in my family-- it is part of a never ending inside joke we invoke constantly. I giggle again. Collin joins me this time, but reprimands me for being "the worst person he could possibly be doing this with. Well, except for Erin."

The script moves from being simple words and phrases into dialogues. Very cheesy dialogues. Despite being a "Kitty" that is talking to Collin, the "Puppy" I manage to keep a straight face through these.

We get on a roll and are dishing out the dialogues, back and forth, back and forth. Then, in a dialogue between "Rabbit" and "Frog," a 3rd character was introduced: "Monkey." Collin and I exchange confused glances, but I read the part of Monkey anyway. At the end of the dialogue, the voice from the speakers cut in:

"Collin and Traylee? Yes, um, there is a 3rd character in this dialogue, see, so Traylee could you read Monkey in a different voice from Rabbit?"

I whisper over to Collin, "Different voice? I only have one voice."

"Um, sure.. okay, I'll try," I tell the speaker. Different voice... different voice.. a monkey voice? What does a monkey voice sound like? I don't do voices!

I tried. Really, I did. But I sounded so stupid. I couldn't get through a single sentence without erupting into laughter.

The speaker voice came on, "Maybe we should take a break?"

After a quick break & some mental prep, I knocked out the Monkey voice and we moved on.

The dialogues became more and more complicated; Collin and I would have to hold conversations between Pig, Rabbit, Dog, Monkey, and Frog in one dialogue. [Multi-logue?]. It was hard to keep all the voices straight as we read ("Was Pig my high voice or my low voice?") but it was harder to keep from laughing at how dumb we sounded.

Reading through all of the material basically blindly, we had little to no warning when an extra cheesy or funny word was approaching. However, as we neared the end of the script, a word a few lines ahead was glaring at me. There was no way in this world that I would be able to say (or hear Collin say) this word without completely losing it. The word, innocent to those who are not versed in American slang, was a synonym for 'rooster.' This is not a word I generally like to say out loud. Or while being recorded. Or while being recorded and sitting next to my older brother. Awesome.

The seemingly innocent script of conversations occurring between farm animals was dripping with sexual innuendos, causing my face & chin to be dripping with tears & drool as we laughed uncontrollably. The Chinese people in the next room must have thought we'd absolutely lost our minds. We weren't just being immature or unprofessional. This was bad.

Let me give you a sample of what we had to say, but I will use the more proper term, "rooster."

Pig (Collin): Hi, Mrs. Duck!
Duck (Tracy): Hi, Mr. Pig!
Pig: How are you?
Duck: I'm tired. Mr. Rooster wakes me up at 5 am every morning!
Pig: Oh, that's too bad!
Duck: I don't like Mr. Rooster. Can you help me?
Pig: No problem!

The several botched attempts at getting though that dialogue was easily the hardest I have ever laughed in my adult life. The speaker voice cut in again "suggesting" another break.

We graciously accepted. As I went to the bathroom, I could hear Collin awkwardly explaining in the hallway: "You see, um, the word you're using for rooster is actually a, um, bad slang word in American English. That's why we are having such a hard time saying it."

"Oh, no, should we change it?"

"No, no. It's okay. We get what you mean. It is just kinda difficult to say sometimes without laughing."

Collin and I go back into the room, vowing to knock the rest of the script out so we can get our money and go. Grateful that it wasn't me saying "rooster" this time, Collin got to try his own luck with the lovely word:

"Duck, duck, duck,
Rooster, rooster, rooster
Duck in front,
Rooster in back!"

I buried my face in my hands and dared not make eye contact with him. He laughed anyway.

There was only one page left-- we were nearly out of the woods. And the barn.

But not without one more humiliating line for me:

"I'm a rooster!"

The speakers came on: everyone in the other room was laughing. Still not knowing quite what was so bad about the 'rooster' synonym, they at at least understood that me declaring I was one, was pretty damn funny.

Mentally exhausted, we finally neared the end of the last page. Collin was in a zone as he read the final titles to each section:
"Let's Chant"
"Let's Sing"
"Happy Reading"
"Happy Spelling"
"Let's Chant"
"Let's Sing"
"Happy Ending"
"Happy Spell--" An explosion of laughter from my side of the table interrupted him again.

"What? What's your problem now?" he demanded.

"Happy ENDing? You just said Happy ENDing instead of Happy Reading!! God, you better hope the people in the next room don't know what that means."

The look on his face was priceless--he had NO idea that had slipped out.

I couldn't have asked for a more 'Happy Ending.'

Wo hen baoqian (I'm very sorry)

10.07.2008

I am truly sorry for getting so behind on the blog, especially when so many amazing, funny, and 'bloggable' things have been happening lately. I suppose this is a sort of Catch-22... the busier we are and the more fun we are having, means less time to sit in front of a computer to blog about the adventures. Collin is currently away on a trip with his friend Tash in another province; I just returned from 3 trips to 3 different cities. Meanwhile, I hosted my lovely friend Jenn for about 10 days and am now hosting my wonderful friend Liz for the next 10 days. Collin and Tash return to Beijing on Thursday, which means a full house this weekend as well as good times. I've been keeping notes (literally & mentally) of all the things I can't wait to share with you all, so stay posted!