Tracy and I have surpassed our 90th day in China, and with time flying by at light-speeds, I can hardly believe I've been here for three months. I originally planned on staying for only six months, under the assumption that I'd probably be more than ready for home at the half-year mark. But as three months has now passed, I find myself lost in a slew of emotions, decisions and contemplations. While there isn't a single part of me that is ready to come home, I feel the pressures of "reality" (ie: grad school, career, missing certain people a lot, my age, etc.) calling, all of which seemingly contradict my desires to stay longer. As much as I don't want to leave yet, admittedly, I have many occasions where I think, "Really? Did that really just happen? Is the air really this bad? Why do they insist on doing it this way? What am I really doing here?" But for as many times that such negative thoughts flow through my mind, it seems I have twice as many amazing experiences that easily trump the bad ones.
You see, I live in a world that I am the center of attention. And I don't mean this in conceded type of way, let me elaborate. Everywhere I go and everything that I do, people look at me, want to speak with me, and giggle uncontrollably if I do as little as say "ni hao." While the "attention" is fun and flattering to a certain extent, it is the cultural exchange aspect of this that makes it so fun and rewarding. It isn't that they want to talk to me because shallow, superficial reasons, they want to understand my culture and make a small or large connection with me, in hopes that they can learn more about the West. But, more importantly (for me), these feelings are completely reciprocated. I have an equal desire to understand their culture, their language, their past, future, desires, hopes, dreams, struggles, etc. I did not come to Beijing with a previous curiosity about Chinese culture, in particular, but instead a general curiosity about any culture different from mine. China just so happens to be a culture that is drastically different than my own, which makes for the most fascinating cultural exchange experiences, be it: anthropological, psychological, governmental....morality, religion, class, warfare, economical, language, art, etc, they are all great.
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The Language
The longer I stay in Beijing the more aware I become of the privilege that comes with being a native speaker of English. Besides the obvious benefits that I receive here in China because of my native tongue, it is particularly interesting to learn of how many people crave this language. They desire it to the point that they look up to us, and are extremely jealous of us because we can speak it fluently. I always explain to my students, "You can't be jealous of me, it is just my native language. If anything, I'm jealous of you because you can speak English and Chinese." But it seems that my students aren't just interested in raises, promotions, and further economic opportunity, they also equate English with all things hip, all things cool. They LOVE Western music, fashion, art, style, food, and film. Knowing the language gets them that much closer to these cool things, and grants them more access to them. For those who do not speak English, their consumption of Western cinema is largely limited to what is available with subtitles. They are also unable to read Western media, cutting them further off from the world. Further exemplifying how limited their access to some of these products/information is are their inquiries: "What do you think of Backstreet Boys, Celine Dion, and James Blunt?" "Why does anyone in the West care about Tibet?" Of course, by most people's standards, to admit you love The Backstreet Boys would be embarrassing, which suggests that many of them are limited to the music that actually finds its way to China. Being a huge consumer of both political media and music, I find this is to be yet another privilege we enjoy in the West.
Such insights have also made me think of my language, and country, in a new light. I can remember not too long ago the GOP trying to introduce legislation to make the "English language the official language of the USA." This made me cringe then, and makes me violently ill now. Could such a move be anymore ethnocentric, or shall I say: could it epitomize the current administration any more? The only saving grace of the failing system that is American democracy, is to reject such arrogant notions, and start to embracing foreign cultures, language, and ideas with open arms. Our war in Iraq, is, indeed, a war of religious ideas, and nothing more than that. If you doubt this for one second, just browse the political blogosphere and read the debates on which candidate has a worse religious mentor, and how incredibly ignorant and intolerant the words of these religious leaders are. It is this very intermingling of church and state, faith and politics, that is detrimental to the USA, and consequently to the world. I have some additional insights regarding religious beliefs in USA, China, Communism, conservatism, etc., but I'll step off my soap box for now.
So yes, the Chinese people are very excited to speak to me and quiz me, but it is completely reciprocated, a perfect culture exchange. I guess, the main difference is, that coming from the West, I am used to being around foreigners (or Euro/Mexican/Spanish/Asian-American citizens who are second/third generation). I think this is another privilege we enjoy in America: the opportunity to live amongst people from all over the world. Here in China, foreigners are a needle in a haystack. It seems that the government "opening up" more has introduced new and exciting ideas for the Chinese. I would argue that most people here are excited about this opportunity, and I wish that more Americans could share this tolerance, acceptance, humbleness, and curiosity.
It has been quite fascinating to learn that many of the Chinese have not had the opportunity to speak to a foreigner, let alone be in a small classroom with one. In fact, many of the students who pay a very steep tuition price to take English classes with foreign teachers, simply want to "shoot the shit" with us. Both Tracy and I have had classes where all of the students unanimously agree to have us just "talk" to them, as opposed to teaching them grammar, vocab., etc. They really just want to hear our opinions about everything, and tell us theirs. Some of these student will pay top dollar to sit in a room and chat with us about world issues and cultural differences......It was only thirty years ago that the Chinese government started to loosen up and "liberate," while only in the past 10-15 years have the Chinese started to really begin to openly embrace some Western ideas and customs. Almost all forms of media are still State owned, and private ones are regulated. Some of my students tell me of how things were only 10 years ago, and I can't believe it. These realities only exasperate the curiosity these people have for me, and me for them.
The weather here is getting very warm, and we have a very hot, polluted, sticky summer to look forward too. Apparently it stays hot here from June until mid-September. Yuck. But, the nice warm nights are great, something I haven't really experiences in a really long time. Portland had some great summer nights, but San Francisco was always freezing in the summer, and the nights are chilly year-round. Wearing shorts and flip-flops at night is a great feeling. My new job is actually located further than I previously thought, making for a nice little trek from our apartment to work. My next pay check I will be purchasing a bicycle for sure. I cannot wait to ride my bike, I haven't ridden for three months, and after being a bike commuter for over four years, I miss my bike terribly. I do get plenty of exercise with all of the walking I do, but walking isn't quite the same as biking. I can't wait to ride through the city on a warm summer night.
Beijing is still blowing my mind, Tracy still seems to be enchanted, and we are all very excited for the Olympics to start. This year we can cheer for USA and China, as I feel new ties to this country and these people.
